


A Brother's Love

by MaggieBlueEyes



Category: Maksim Chmerkovskiy - Fandom, Maksyl - Fandom, Meryl Davis - Fandom, Valentin Chmerkovskiy - Fandom
Genre: Brothers, Internal Conflict, Multi, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 20:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4719614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggieBlueEyes/pseuds/MaggieBlueEyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you just have to ask the hard questions to get to the truth</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Brother's Love

**Author's Note:**

> (Note: Includes strong language and implied sexual situation)
> 
> This is a work of fiction; other than the actual birthday/mention of the party itself, the storyline, its characters and the scenarios played out here are just a result of my fanfiction imagination

THIS FICTIONAL CONVERSATION TAKES PLACE THE NIGHT OF VAL’S BIRTHDAY PARTY, MARCH 24, 2015

Maks put his key in the lock and opened the front door to his house. 'That’s weird', he thought. Could it be possible that he was the first one home? He tossed his keys on the entryway table and pulled off his beanie, glancing at the clock on the wall: just past midnight. Seriously? He was home this early? Damn, guess he was getting old. Chuckling out loud, he shook his head…..nah.

He made his way into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. He leaned back, resting his weight on the counter, and crossing his feet at the ankles. It had been a good night. Lots of people, laughs, drinking and celebration. His baby brother deserved nothing less for his birthday. The surprise get together at Aventine was a success. It was good that Nicole and Teddy were able to make it out for the party. In fact, they were supposed to crash there at his place too but had decided to join Peta for a nightcap. Peta. That was a whole other story. She had been pretty pissed when he opted out of not joining them this time around, so much so that she had to pull him aside at the restaurant and have a low caliber meltdown.

_“Maks, don’t be such an ass. Why can’t you come out with us? One drink, for me, puleeze?”_

_“It’s not a big deal babe. You haven’t seen Nic and Ted for a while, go and spend some time with them. I’m fine, just kinda beat. I want you to have fun.”_

_Peta’s puppy dog eyes quickly disappeared and a scowl slowly appeared. “There’s something you’re not telling me. What the fuck is going on, Maks? Since when do you not want to stay out and party?” She paused with her hands on her hips, examining him closely. “Did you…did you talk to her today? You did, didn’t you??!”_

_Jesus, he thought, pinching the bridge of his nose. Not again. He took a deep breath, noticing Nicole and Teddy talking just beyond them with Cheryl Burke and her boyfriend Jay, who owned the restaurant. Then he spoke in a very hushed tone, looking directly into her eyes._

_“No,” he said emphatically “I did not talk to her today….not that it matters if I did or not. I am not getting into this again with you. It’s been a great night, and I’m just worn out. That’s all. Go on and enjoy yourself. Be careful, and I’ll talk to you in the morning.”. Smiling at her, he leaned over and kissed her briefly on the lips and then walked over to where Nicole and Teddy were, to say good night and make sure they had a key to get into the house._

He drank down the rest of his water, and put the glass in the dishwasher. Yes, other than that, it had been a really good evening. There were people who weren’t able to make it, that they all wished could have been there with them, like his parents…and Alex and Eugene…and… 

No. He wasn’t going there. He couldn’t.

Heading down the hallway to his bedroom, he resolved to put the last thought he had out of his mind. As he started to undress, he heard the front door open and slam, and a voice calling out, “Honey! The birthday boy is home!”

Incoherent lyrics of some sort lofted their way through the house and down to Maks’ bedroom, where Val came to stand in the doorway. “Bro!!!” he said, then noticing Maks in the process of disrobing “Is this a private strip tease, or can anyone join in??” 

“Zhopa” Maks said to him, half smiling. “So, birthday boy…..did you enjoy yourself?”

A grin a mile wide appeared on Val’s face. “Yeah,” he said, flopping himself down on the bed. “I’m a lucky bastard. Beautiful time with lots of fuckin’ awesome people. I still can’t believe Z came, she shocked the shit outta me, that’s for sure.”

Maks nodded, sitting down next to his brother, and grabbing his arm. “Yeah, it was fuckin’ great. I only wish Mama could have stayed for it….or Pops could have come out…or something”. Val noticed that something changed in his brother’s demeanor when he spoke, and he sat up on the bed. “I mean, how great was it that Nic and Teddy came out, and Joss….and Cheryl and Jay were so great helping us put it together for you…” Maks felt his mind starting to wander and pulled himself back. “Besides, I’m sure you heard from Alex and a couple of other people who couldn’t fly in. You know they wouldn’t miss wishing you a happy birthday, man”.

“Yup, Alex called me this afternoon and Eugene….he left me this whacked out voice message. You gotta hear it. I missed JT’s call when I was rehearsing with Rue….” He smiled as he stood up. He walked a couple of steps and turned around to look at his brother, apprehensive to bring up the next subject. “You know, speaking of people who couldn’t be there tonight…” Val looked down at his feet for a moment and then looked directly at Maks, “I even heard from Meryl today too.” He kept his eyes on his older sibling, trying to gauge his reaction. “She, ah-she…sent me this really nice message, wishing me a happy birthday, and telling me again how great it was to see me in Chicago” Val looked down at his phone, swiped it and then held the phone out to Maks. “It’s not as funny as Eugene’s but…..well, it was just really sweet.” 

Maks looked at Val and then to the phone Val was holding out in front of him. “Yeah, well, that doesn’t surprise me, bro. You know how Meryl is. She’s just a…..very…thoughtful person”

Val nodded and took a step closer to the bed, still extending his hand and its contents. “She is that.” Pause. “Don’t you want to see it?”

Maks let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and shook his head, “Net, yego ne vazhno, chto ya vizhu yego (No, it’s not important that I see it)”.

Val rolled his eyes. “Ne bud'te upryamyy ob etom (don’t be pigheaded about this). C’mon dude, it’s my birthday.” He stepped closer to his older brother, staring him down “I want you to see it”. 

Maks looked up at him and tried to smile. “Okay” he said very quietly, reaching for Val’s phone.

**_S Diem Rozdeniya dorogoy Valentin! Hope my other fav C bro has a wonderful day. So bummed I couldn't make it 2UR party. I'm sure M & every1 made it a special nite 4U. Gr8 seeing U & spending time 2gether in Chicago. Wish we could do that more often. Much love, M _ **

Looking at Meryl’s text, Maks let himself smile a little, then stood up from the bed, handing the phone back.

“Nice…..that was…nice” Maks was nodding a little too much. Val took the phone back from him. 

“That’s…..it?” He paused, looking intently at his brother. “It was ….nice?” Maks forced a smile. 

“What do you want me to say, dude? Meryl’s great with that sort of thing. She’s very…eloquent. It’s a wonderful birthday message. I’m glad she sent it to you.” Now it was Val’s turn to nod, and Maks put his hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to hit the shower. Happy birthday, malyutka” Maks leaned over and gave Val a big hug, patting him on the back. He was steps away from the bathroom when Val cleared his throat.

“Maks?”

Maks turned to face him. “Hmmm?”

Val decided to take the plunge. This conversation was long overdue.

“Don’t you miss her?” 

Maks’ face almost went pale. _Did Val really ask him that?_

Silence.

Val took a step closer.

“I said….don’t you miss her?” Maks nervously ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh. 

“Val, do we….do we _have_ to do this now? I mean, where did this come from?”

“C’mon,” The younger Chmerkovskiy was trying to ease into it, but his patience was getting the best of him. “Say it once, just to my face. I swear to God it won’t go beyond this room”

Exasperation set into Maks’ features.

“Bro, I really don’t want to talk about this. Can’t we just call it a night? Jesus….” Maks turned away, switched on the bathroom light and walked in, starting to close the door. He didn’t like to be pushed, and Val was starting to unnerve him.

“ **Why the fuck can’t you just answer me**??” Val started to shout, catching Maks completely off guard. “I mean, is it  really so hard to talk about with your own brother???”

The two men rarely fought with each other – yes, they gave each other a lot of grief, especially with sentences that threatened to call either one of their parents, but shouting matches were a rarity. Angry ones even more scarce.

Maks was caught like a deer in someone’s headlights, and he felt his blood pressure starting to rise. He took a moment to compose himself before answering.

“Valushyka, I really, **really** don’t want to talk about Meryl right now. So, why don’t you just calm down, and go get some shut-eye. Don’t you have an early call in the….”

“You’re being a total prick, you know that?” The words came spewing out of Val’s mouth. “You, you….barely even give her the time of day anymore….and for what? Because you starting dating someone that you broke up with over a year ago, and..... and, she doesn’t like it? Man, that doesn’t even make any fuckin’ sense!! She….Meryl…meant something to you. What the hell is your problem??” Several months of questions had been building up in Valentin’s head, and although he knew he was taking a chance by possibly creating a rift with his best friend, he had to ask. He had been watching Maks’ whole personality change much too much since Sway…since he starting dating Peta again. He loved his brother, and he had to talk to him about what he was doing to himself, even if it meant pissing him off to no end.

Maks felt his temples start to throb, and anger rise up from his chest. He took a couple of steps in Val’s direction, and stared his brother down. He spoke very quietly and deliberately. “You don’t have one fuckin’ idea what you’re talking about, so I suggest you BACK OFF” His nostrils were pinched and he was afraid of things escalating even further. He continued, “Now, I’m going to go take a shower and go to bed. I suggest you go and sleep off the vodka or tequila or whatever shit you were throwing back tonight, and leave me the hell alone.” Turning on his heel, he started to walk away, until Val’s words stopped him.

“I knew it. I goddamn knew it! You-- you still love her.”

Some unknown power froze Maks in his steps and wouldn’t let him move. He felt like he was suspended in time. He could barely spit out the words.

“I – I don’t have to explain myself to you”

“You’re right,” Val said, shaking his head. “You’re absolutely positively fucking right. But, see, there’s this one problem …you have been walking around here either…” and he started counting on his fingers “with this morose look on your face, or with a stick up your ass, or…. Christ, like you had lost a limb and didn’t know how to function without it.” Val’s voice suddenly became very soft spoken. “Brat, ya lyublyu tebya . Pozhaluysta, pozhaluysta, so mnoy pogovorit'. YA nenavizhu videt' tebya v takom (Brother, I love you. Please, please talk to me. I hate seeing you like this)”.

“Val,” he quietly pleaded. “I don’t want to….I can’t talk about …..” He clenched his fists and bit down on his lower lip. No, he wasn’t going there, no matter how much Val wanted him to talk. The situation….it was a fucked up Pandora’s Box and he wasn’t going to go near it, let alone open it. He kept his back turned toward his brother. And then he heard Val sit down on the bed and let out a sigh.

“Maks, man, I love you so friggin much but sometimes…..” Val shook his head in disbelief. “Sometimes you are the dumbest son of a bitch on this planet.”

The older Chmerkovskiy turned toward the bed, raising his eyes to the ceiling and grabbing his hair again. This dumb son of a bitch couldn’t think of a single thing to say back.

Val looked at him and laughed. Not in a mocking way, but out of love and concern for a man who had taken care of him since he was born. A big brother who felt he had to fix things, and be strong for everybody. He had been wanting to talk to Maks about this since he got back from the DWTS tour, and the time was never right. Well, that, and Maks was spending all his free time with Peta: here, at her place, at the rehearsal studio, on set when they filmed DWTS. He was quite surprised when he returned to the house tonight, and she wasn’t there. He liked her, he really did – but he remembered the last time they were together….and how badly it had ended. He really thought that the two of them being more than friends was a big mistake….and he didn’t want Maks to go down that road again. That, and let someone as wonderful as Meryl get pushed away in the process.

“Tell me,” Val encouraged “Sest' i pogovorit' so mnoy (sit down and talk to me)”

There was a part of Maks that wanted to park himself next to his brother on the bed, and pour out his heart, but he couldn’t. He had locked up that vault and he didn’t want to let anyone in.

“YA ne mogu sdelat' eto (I can’t do that)” he declared, venturing in the direction of the bathroom again. Shaking his head, Val stood up. 

“Why, goddamn it?!” he shouted, “why can’t you talk to me about it??!!”

All of a sudden, some sort of dam down deep inside him burst, and Maks turned to his brother.

“Why??!! Why??!! I’ll tell you why, Val” he started shouting, pointing his finger in his face. “Because….because she broke my heart, that’s why. Because she went and ripped it out of my fuckin’ chest, and just left me there. This, this….woman told me she couldn’t get involved with me in a romantic way because the time wasn’t right…for her. Never mind how I felt! Never mind how much I was ready to sacrifice everything to be with her in whatever way I could….no, she wanted to just be friends. She had everything going on in the fuckin’ world and I was the asshole she couldn’t commit to.” At this point, he was close to hyperventilating, but he continued...

“She was trying to be fair to me, to let me go so I could live my life. She didn’t want me sitting around and waiting for her, and ever have the impression that I wasn’t important. She didn’t want me to ever think I was second best. God! As if she could ever make me feel that way! I am the one who always thought I wasn’t worthy, I am the one who said she was too good for me.”. Maks’ tirade starting slowing down, and he tried to catch his breath. “And then, after that talk, she was gone. Poof. And I felt like a part of me had died, because…..because….shit, Val….she was everything to me. Maybe that was my fault, maybe I shouldn’t have loved her that much, and put her up so high on that pedestal. She made my life better, she made me better.” His voice began to crack. “Ona byla moyey VS i moya luna , i ona razbila mne serdtse v “tysyachu shtuk (She was my sun and my moon and she broke my heart into a thousand pieces)” He choked back a sob. Val stood up and walked over to him, wrapping him in a big bear hug.

“I know, bro. I know.” Val could feel the intensity as his older sibling clung to him. As painful as it was to try and draw him out, he knew it was something he had to do. Maks’ mental well-being depended on it. “She still is your sun and moon, dude. Hearts don’t lie, no matter how broken they are.”

Maks pulled away, wiping his face with the heels of his hands, and suddenly, he heard his phone buzzing. He went over to the nightstand to see who was calling. He let out a deep sigh.

“It’s Peta”

Val shook his head “Do what you got to do, man”

Maks stared down at the ringing phone and then quickly glanced across the room at Val. His hand swiped his phone, sending it to voicemail.

“I’m not sure I can handle much from her right now,” he said. “She’s been bugging me 24/7 lately. Keeps bringing up Meryl and have I seen her, or talked to her, or whatever the fuck is bothering her at that exact moment.” Maks sat down on the bed and leaned back against the headboard. “So, what do I do now, oh young one?”

Val chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know. This whole thing is pretty screwed up.” He sat down on the bed. “When was the last time you talked to Merylushka?”

Maks blew out a long breath. “I’m trying to remember. Maybe we texted twice since I saw her last? But it was when she was here in February that we actually last spoke. Christ, that feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Nothing since then, huh?” Val inquired.

Maks shook his head. “Nope. Unless you count me stalking her social media accounts. I think the last thing I liked on Instagram was her picture from that SoHo thing she and Charlie were at. You know, when she went to Dance With Me and saw Eugene? Anyway, she wore this pale blue dress, I could have sworn it was silver…but god damn….she looked...so fuckin’ hot. I think I nearly came just….just looking at it. Shit, not that I needed a reason....”

“Ah yes,” Val nodded, remembering the occasion. “That was when she told some rag that you guys had never dated, and then said she was seeing someone”

“Yeah, and once that happened, I didn’t have the balls to even approach her and ask if it was true. Then right after that, that fuckin' DWTS All Access interview… and Michael blurts out that I’m Peta’s boyfriend. Jesus, so much for keeping my personal life personal”

Val grimaced before he spoke “You know…..there was a lot of people at the studio who said that shit was….that P set the whole thing up.” He put his hands up in surrender. “I swear, that’s what I heard. I have no idea if that crap is true”

Maks seemed unaffected by the comment. “I had a feeling that something….she’s so adamant about making sure that the world knows we’re together. She’s got to “advertise” that we’re dating.” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “She did that last time too….even got into it with Kirstie….and this time, she’s positively unyielding when it comes to me having anything to do with Meryl. God damn, I’m too old for this shit.” 

“Well, at least you know that much” Val declared with a smile.

“You know, somewhere in the back of my mind, something told me that getting back with her was the wrong thing to do….but I was so messed up after Mer had that talk with me…..I was so pissed, and felt so jerked around…..man, I didn’t know what I was doing, and then Peta was just there, and things just started happening….and this voice in my head kept saying, “she told you to live your life, and go out and date, and not wait for her” I mean…..you think I would get a goddamn clue?” He shook his head in disgust. “Damn it all to hell. I’m screwed, just like you said”  


The two brothers sat silently for a while, the only noise in the room the ticking of an old but obnoxious alarm clock.

“Well,” Maks broke the silence. “I don’t know the first thing to do to clean up this shit…..and I know you have a busy day tomorrow….or should I say today- with Rue so you’d better get some shuteye…..” He went to swing his legs off of the bed, but Val stopped him. “What? Haven’t I spilled enough of my guts out to you yet? Do we need to go find a leech so you can bleed me out some more?” A playful tone had finally returned to Maks’ voice.

Val took a deep breath. “There’s something that I think you should know. Something I probably don’t have the right to divulge, but it’s been eating at me for a while now. Ah…..dammit.” He brought his hand up to his face and ran his fingers across his forehead. “Shit. This isn’t as easy as I thought. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea….” He went to stand up, and Maks grabbed his arm.

“Vse v poryadke s mater'yu i ottsom??” (Are Mom and Pops okay?)

“No, no” he answered “It’s nothing like that”. Maks let out a sigh of relief. “It’s about….it’s about Meryl”

Maks paused for a second, and then shook his head “Well, I guess it was bound to happen eventually.” He was silent for a few moments, staring off in another direction. “So….. she went back to what’s his name, right?”

Val looked at him intently and then busted out laughing.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Maks was getting annoyed.

“You. You are such a freakin sorry-ass excuse for a man, sometimes” he reached over, and put his arm around Maks’ shoulder, kissing him on the cheek. Maks’ patience was wearing thin.

“Valentin, yesli vy khotite dozhit' do sleduyushchego dnya rozhdeniya….(if you want to live to see your next birthday)” That just made Val laugh harder.

“Okay, okay” the younger Chmerkovskiy put up his hands. “I have been wondering whether or not to tell you this, because, well, it really wasn’t my place….” Maks stared at him with a look of urgency. “But considering our conversation tonight, I thought maybe you should know….”

“Aww, c’mon Val, I don’t have time for this” Maks had had enough and got up off the bed.

“She still loves you” Val said quietly. His older brother stopped where he was and slowly turned around.

“Skazat', chto yeshche raz (say that once more)” Maks’ eyes bore into his brother’s. Val nodded his head and gave him a slight smile.

“Da. Ona vse yeshche lyubit vas (Yes. She still loves you). Meryl still loves you. And I got the impression she wanted to try and work something out with you, but….”

“But?? But what??” Maks didn’t want to be left hanging.

“Well, you are both.....kinda dating other people right now.”

Maks grimaced, rubbing his chin with his thumb and index finger. He moved back to the bed and sat down.

“But…” Maks couldn’t find the words; he was emotionally spent. “But….how do you know this? Did she….did she tell you that herself?”

Val nodded his head “Yeah. Yeah, she did. We had a nice long chat when I saw her in Chicago. You remember, I called you “emotionally irresponsible but loyal” a couple of days later”

“Sonofabitch!” Maks put his head in his hands. “Now it all makes sense….not that I don’t still think you’re a prick for calling me that” Suddenly, it was as if a light went on, and Maks’ jaw dropped open “Chicago? You’ve known this since Chicago? And you’re just telling me now??”

Val stood up from the bed with a chuckle. “Hey! Don’t shoot the messenger. You’re very hard to pin down, especially since you’ve been spending so much time with a certain blonde”.

Maks opened his mouth to protest and then stopped. Val had a point. He needed to feel needed, and Peta was there, available and willing. It didn’t matter that it was a rebound of sorts. He had been drowning his sorrows with sex, trying to forget Meryl. He looked up at his brother apologetically.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve been a first class asshole in that respect” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, bro” 

Val looked down at him “I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell you. You seemed so engrossed in your ‘new life’. I really wasn’t sure if it mattered. That’s why I was being such a pain in the ass tonight – well, I’m sure the drinks helped that along too” A grin crossed the birthday boy’s face.

“Sooo…..how did this topic come up, if I’m allowed to ask?” Maks inquired

“It wasn’t anything I saw coming, to be honest” Val said “I mean, we ended up being in Chicago at the same time and I messaged her and asked her if she had time to get together. She came up to my hotel room….” Maks looked over and gave him the evil eye. “Oh, for christsake, don’t give me that look. Of course, we stayed indoors -- it was Chicago and it was fuckin' cold!!” His brother smirked a little and Val continued “We ordered room service for lunch and just sat around BS’g for a couple of hours. It was nice.” Then he paused. “Then she started asking how you were doing, and I said that I thought you were doing okay, keeping busy”

“You actually said that? Great. Just great”

“Dude, she’s not stupid. She knew about you and P.” Val thought for a second before continuing. “She said that she hoped that you were happy…..and then she mentioned that the two of you had “talked” after Sway ended in December. She didn’t go into details at first; I think she was afraid that she was putting me in the middle. In fact, she said the last thing in the world she ever wanted to do was to create a rift between us, for any reason”

Maks smiled. That certainly sounded like Meryl. “Go on, Valushyka”

“When I assured her that I was okay with it, she then told me about the conversation you two…..sorry, she had with you about not being able to commit to a romantic relationship, and wanting to be fair to you. She talked about how much she had on her plate and I told her, quite honestly, that I understood why she did what she did.”

“I think I’m about to disown my only brother” Maks said, crossing his arms in frustration. 

“Chill out, dude – you didn’t let me finish. Damn, bro! Anywaaaaay, that was when she started saying how sorry she was that she hurt you and pushed you away. That she still couldn’t promise much with all the obligations on her calendar, but that she still loved you and hoped she hadn’t lost you in her life.”

Maks sat there, not knowing what to say. The nervous habit of pulling at his hair returned.

“Now,” Val continued. “I just sat here and divulged something that I’m sure Meryl wanted me to keep private…or maybe she didn’t, and that’s why she told me – ‘cause she wanted me to tell you. I don’t know, but, well, there it is.”

Still, his older brother sat there, speechless.

“Hey, I don’t have any regrets in telling you. I think you needed to know. If you guys still love each other --and anyone within a thousand miles of either one of you would be dumb not to notice-- then you need to find a way back into each other’s lives…..and bro, even if she can only be friends right now, because she’s being pulled in twelve million directions, then I say ‘take it’. Keep the fire going between the two of you. Even if it’s just a burning ember at this point in time, it can always be a full blown bonfire when the time is right.”

Val stretched out his arms, and looked down at Maks.

“Homie? You okay? You haven’t said a thing in the past few minutes”

Maks looked up, and Val saw tears in his eyes.

“Thanks for talking to me tonight” he said quietly “I have a lot to think about”

Val smiled down at his brother “For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen you happier than when you were with her. She brought out your best, and there’s nothing more that I want than to see that joy in your eyes and that bounce in your step again”

Maks stood up and hugged the man who had given him something to look forward to.

“You don’t know how much that means, malyutka. I know it’s your birthday today, but you’ve given me a terrific gift. I hope I don’t fuck it up”

“Just be happy, dude” he said, kissing him on the cheek. “Now, I’m going to get some shuteye. I think you should do the same” Val started to make his way to the door, then turned around. “And thanks for a great party. You’re the best.”

“Ya lyublyu tebya moy brat (I love you, my brother)” Maks replied, watching him exit the room, closing the door behind him.

 

Maks stripped off his boxers and made his way in for a quick shower. Standing there under the rushing water, he thought about what Val had shared with him. This talk with his baby brother tonight had definitely given him food for thought. When he was done, he stepped out of the stall and toweled himself off, imagining what steps he might take next. He didn’t want to rush into anything; he wanted to do things right – or at the minimum, in a way that was least hurtful to those involved. God, he didn’t know if he could do that to Peta again, having been the one to break it off the last time. Would he talk to her, and convey that he still wanted Meryl in his life, but that he still cared about her? Damn it all, this was one fucked up mess.  
He made his way over to his nightstand. He grabbed his phone and was going to check Peta’s phone message….but then changed his mind. His brain felt like it was on overload, and if she had left a long winded message of some sort, it really wasn’t going to help his state of mind. As he was reaching to put his phone back, he stopped, swiped his screen and opened up Instagram. He went directly to Meryl’s page and saw her most recent post:

**_"Be yourself – everyone else is taken (Oscar Wilde)”_**

He smiled to himself, and how she had a knack for picking out really good quotes. He scrolled back a week to see the beautiful picture he had been describing to Val during their conversation. God, she was beautiful. He closed his eyes and tried to commit the picture to memory; hell, he’d burn it into his brain if I had the chance. He put the phone back into its charger on the table, and crawled into bed. 

As he slipped under the cool sheets, his head hit the pillow with ease. As much as a thousand thoughts were going through his head, it was also as if a ton of boulders had been lifted from his chest; a weight that he never realized he had been carrying. He smiled, thinking of the picture, and of the words his brother had shared with him a few minutes earlier. She still loved him, and she wanted to find a way to make it work between them. It was as if a hidden door had suddenly been opened, and he was filled with trepidation and excitement at the same time. Meryl…..his warm, wonderful, sweet, beautiful Meryl. If he made an effort to somehow keep her in his life, in whatever capacity, who knows where they would end up. There were no guarantees, but he knew was that his heart was telling him to try. What was that saying? “What if it doesn’t work out…..but oh, what if it does?” 

Suddenly he remembered the Figure Skating Gala in New York that they were scheduled to perform at in early April. Didn’t Meryl copy him on an email in the past week, talking about setting up rehearsal time? He had passed it over, completely blowing it off. He would take another look at it in the morning. No, better yet, he would text her, and see when they could schedule time together to practice. Dancing with Meryl again. An even bigger smile crossed his face as he closed his eyes, imagining her in his arms once more. If he went about this the right way, he might be lucky enough to really have her back in his life, and this time, he would never let her go. As he felt himself nodding off, his mind started to clear, his body relaxed, and his heart smiled. He whispered her name into the night as he drifted off to sleep, happier than he had been in a long time. 


End file.
